How I felt about doctors until recently – you went to four years of undergrad then four years of medical school then completed a three to seven year residency then a fellowship and you have been practicing medicine for over a decade and you don’t know what’s wrong with me? From the endocrinologist to the cardiologist to the neurologist to the rheumatologist each and every one of them can tell me something is wrong but can’t tell me what. The people in the ER know me by name. Blood work and urine samples were taken weekly (and I HATE needles), stress tests were done monthly, body scans with contrast were done quarterly, exploratory surgeries were performed and still none of these idiots could tell me why I was having episodes where the pain in my stomach was so bad I couldn’t move why my hands and feet would turn purple and I would lose feeling in my legs and become unable to walk and then my chest would begin to burn and I couldn’t breathe. No one could tell me why I went from running 10 miles a day to barley being able to walk up the stairs without passing out, why my hair was fallen out in clumps, why I gained 25 pounds in less than three weeks or why my knees and wrists and face swell so much that I look like a damn chipmunk. It was nearly four years of doctors telling me I was crazy – of doctors throwing pain meds and anti- depressants at me only to apologize when my labs came back with a combination of the lowest and highest numbers they had ever seen. Seriously how can you not tell what is going on do you not have a brain?! These Doctors think they are God; I mean you certainly cannot ride in an elevator with them because their ego is much too large to fit another human being in there. But still they couldn’t fix me. I went to a functional medicine doctor who in 45 minutes (Not even an hour) determined my spleen was not functioning at all, my adrenal glands were barley functioning, my ovaries were about to shut down, I had a leaky gut, and I was allergic to medication, chlorine, wheat, dairy, soy, corn, strawberries, bananas, cane sugar, brown sugar, oatmeal, honey and maple syrup – since I stopped eating those foods I have not had a single episode, or problem walking, and the pain in my joints is gone. ARE YOU KIDDING ME – I am having allergic reactions? Doctors who graduated from Harvard couldn’t figure out I was having an allergic reactions! Prior to my health problems I was healthy woman with less than 15% body fat who ate healthy diet that consisted of protein, ‘healthy’ grains, fruits, veggies, milk, good fats, and an occasional splurge meal. Why did no doctor catch this why were they not trained on proper nutrition? My health issues took away my confidence, independence, and the little money I had. My health issues and the doctor’s inability to treat me made me incapable of attending my dream art school in London - having been accepted and not being able to attend nearly killed me. Last week one of my doctor told that he thinks a good portion of my health problems were caused by stress. I didn’t respond I just nodded – no shit Sherlock, I was in an abusive relationship for years and the person I was closest to died and the house I was living in was yanked out from under my feet and the 50K in their will that was supposed to go to me, the executor kept for himself. I won’t let him win or ruin my chances; I refuse to be a victim. I am becoming stronger every day, I’m running, and lifting and boxing. I am becoming more spiritual and centered. I am volunteering and learning to think more of others issues than to focus on my own. I am launching my own business at the end of this year, and I am attending art school in NYC in the spring – which are two of my biggest dreams. But most of all I am learning that not only am I worthy of love but that I can love myself again. I am ____ effing _____ and I will not be pushed down!
No. You. Will. Not.
